The following people, and or things, can suck it:
People who obsess about Ultimate Fighting.
Nobody cares about your new ankle lock, I’ll hit you with a shovel.
The color beige: If you have to ask why, stop reading/breathing.
Movies about extreme dancing: I can’t imagine why anyone would go out of their way to watch one of these turds, let alone actually buy it. The dvd should come with a razor blade.
People who don’t speak english: You are in this country, learn to interact with it.
Closed captioning for the hearing impaired: Learn to lip-read, assholes.
Obese people: A little obvious.
“I’m not racist, but” people. : Oops, yes you are.
Horror movies: Of course i’m going to jump when you play really loud string music and show something fast on the screen. That’s not scary. Just surprising. Fuck the fuck off.
Greeters. People in stores who are paid to stand near doors and act cheerful. Fuck you, I know you aren’t happy, don’t pretend like you are. Also; I’m not shoplifting anything, so piss off.
One subject people: Everyone knows one of these; they know, or act like they know everything there is to know about one thing and refuse to talk about anything else.
Eddie Murphy: Norbit.
People who “don’t get” seinfeld.
Female whiners: Much worse than male whiners due to the pitch of voice, lack of reason, no way to solve,and rank stupidity of problem.
Just kidding he rules.
People who say “bro”. Just don’t.
Teens who wear bling bling. Everyone knows you are a bad ass. I wish I had a grandparent to give me plastic chain money.
Carlos Mencia: If you took the funny parts of his show, one season=one episode.
Carlos Mencia: Comedy central’s embarrassing solution to filling Chappelles show’s time slot.
Carlos Mencia: Unfunny racism.
Carlos Mencia: Proven joke thief.
Carlos Mencia: ect.
Movie quoters: Nothing worse than a poorly executed movie quote. Or a well executed one.
Boomhower: He talks funny, we get it. Time to kill him off in a car fire.
People who pee in toilet stalls: Its called a urinal Cpt. Smallcock. Its for urinating in.
Stoners: All they talk about is drugs, things they did when they were on drugs, how to make drugs, how to smoke drugs, how to do drugs… ect.
Stupid crappy infomercials: Does anyone ever buy knives at three in the morning? [Note]: Excluding Magic Bullets, because they are totally sweet, and everyone should buy one.
Smart cars: DUMB.
Fat girls with small jeans, causing a chain reaction of blubber. Some call them muffin tops, but that is a stupid term. I move someone creates a better one.
Crocs. I could type an entire paragraph on how ridiculous they are, but I wont. Ugly/stinky/fat-chickey.
Lamps. If you need more light, turn the god damn light switch on. If you don’t, turn it off. Assholes.
Dark clubs/bars. Very dangerous.
Anyone who drives a toyota yaris: Fuck you.
- People with personalized license plates that say the owners name.
- People who always have a better story about every topic.
- People who are over sensitive about racism: Sometimes, its funny. Shut the hell up.
- Commercials that focus on how stupid men are: Thats just plain lazy. Here’s how to tell if the commercial sucks: